yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
bring money and cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize