So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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