Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
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I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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