My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize