Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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