Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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