Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize