Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize