If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize