My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dignity is for republicans.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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