the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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