i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize