bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
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there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
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My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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