You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
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So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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