I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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