that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
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I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
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I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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