So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
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Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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