I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize