She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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