Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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