Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
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His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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