This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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