There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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