the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
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he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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