I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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