So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize