I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize