No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize