Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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