its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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