I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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