You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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