i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize