I want to make a zoo with you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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