Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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