there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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