You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
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actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize