Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize