i would punch a child for taco bell
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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