Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My nipple is on Facebook.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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