Acid is not a monday night drug
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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