Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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