i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
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I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
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Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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