Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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