a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
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