And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Be still, my beating vagina.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize