Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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