Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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