Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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