Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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